Stop Your Divorce – Five Steps To Reconnect With Your Spouse
Saturday, April 10th, 2010Live in the same house but feel miles apart? This is more common then you think. As routine sets in and daily life continues to evolve you spend less time with your spouses and more time doing the mundane daily tasks, but it doesn’t have to be. You can stop your divorce.
1. Learn something new as a couple. If you can stop bickering long enough, agree to try a new hobby or sport. Pick up some used golf clubs and go down to the golf course for a few rounds. Hike in the woods, bike on a trail; do something new and possibly exciting and discover a whole new side to your lover.
2. Actually sit down and have a conversation about what is wrong. You’ve been angry for a week that your spouse did not notice your new do but unless it is drastic, chances are good he will not notice it. He is not as perceptive to such things as your friends are. Of course, the flip side of it is he did notice and he does not like it. If that is the he might have been trying to spare your feeling and in doing so hurt yours. Tell him how angry you are that he did not even notice but be prepared because if he did notice and did not like it then your going to be a whole lot angrier.
3. Write what you need to say in a letter. Sound strange to write a letter to the person sitting across from you at the dinner table? If you can’t seem to communicate any other way this might be a safer way to go. Make a list of all of the points you want to make and then get them on paper. It doesn’t have to be worded perfectly. You are not trying to win a contest. Say exactly what you mean and make sure you mean what you say. And never forget, if you don’t want to be reminded of it tomorrow then don’t put it in writing today.
4. Seek counseling. If all else fails, try a couple’s counselor. If you truly want to save your relationship, the impartial wisdom of an outside party might be just the saving grace you need. You vent to your friends, and they all agree that you have married a slovenly pig. He vents to his friends and they all agree with him that he has married a soul crushing shrew. A counselor will not take sides and may be able to steer you onto the right path of self healing.
5. This should only be used as a last ditch effort. Consider having a trial separation. If everything else has failed, agree to spend the weekend apart with absolutely no communication. You will then have your own time to reflect and renew and as the old saying goes: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If you are wondering “can this marriage be saved” the answer is chances are good that yes, it can. It can take a bit of hard work but if you truly want to save your marriage then it is time to take action in the right direction and learn how to save your marriage.
